Secrets of Confident Women
Confidence, as defined by Psychology Today, is the belief in oneself to have the ability to meet life’s challenges and succeed and acting in a way that showcases those beliefs.
I liked this definition the best because as women, we all too often associate confidence with how we feel about our looks. For example, if you’re a confident woman, then you radiate this sort of confidence that tells everyone that you love what you see every time you look in the mirror or look down at your body when you’re in the middle of getting dressed.
This is just a piece of confidence. It’s the small sliver of pie that you cut off for your grandmother at dinner because she’s trying to “watch her sugar intake.”
There are dozens of qualities that can and should embody confident women. But after reading articles and studying some of my favorite women, I picked two qualities that stuck with me.
Say no and don’t apologize for it
Rachel Hollis, a popular author, and entrepreneur, basically wrote an entire book about this called “Girl, Stop Apologizing.” If you haven’t read it yet…please do.
For some reason, women say sorry for nearly everything. Especially in situations where we have to say no or make decisions we fear might cause trouble or harm. We tend to overcommit and fall short on the promises we make to ourselves because we have a desire to nurture and comfort the people around us.
I struggled with this in my last relationship. I would do things for the sake of making life easier for my partner and anytime I needed something, I would apologize for it. Don’t want to go on the date with that guy who keeps pushing? Say no and don’t be sorry about it. Did someone tell you to stop posting so much on social media? Tell them no, and don’t be sorry about it.
Sis, if no one has told you yet, then let me be the first to say that you need to stand by your truth, commit to yourself, and never be sorry for it.
Flawless? More like flawfull
I know. It’s a tough one. It’s not easy to admit that behind the Instagram pictures there are very real and difficult flaws that we have to face at one point or another in our life. You know you are flawed, but do you really know what those flaws are? Have you actually looked at them in the face?
I crave validation. I am a jealous person. I neglect my friends when I enter into intimate relationships. I’m addicted to being on my phone as a form of distraction. I don’t know when to walk away from people and situations that are not good for me. The list could go on but I’ll stop for your sake (and for mine.)
Confident women know where their strengths are and where their weaknesses are. They not only see their weaknesses, but they give them a standing ovation. You can’t be everything to everyone. Don’t waste energy trying to be.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” — Laozi